My life is a mess

 I think anxiety came first. Then she invited her friend, Depression. He really fucked me up. You see anxiety made me stutter,  made me question and made me doubt.  But depression it made me wallow. It took the parts of myself that were good and said they weren't good. Depression is a sickness that I feel like I deserved. It's a hell I created.  It's me against the fight against myself. I'm not good at describing Depression and how it affects me which is funny because I'm suppose to be a writer.  I guess that's Depression at work.  I can't find the words because a part of me believes that I am an awful writer, clutching on to a dream I made up as a child which was just only an outlet to help escape my fucked up life. Depression is like having a weight strapped tp your chest. It makes breathing harder. It makes walking harder. It makes everything harder. I dont know if I can escape Depression. I'm a prisoner with a life sentence.  Its me against me Figh...

  Hello there, If you somehow stumble unto my blog, welcome. This is my page where I post how much my life is a mess and every once in a while post an encouraging tidbit. Truth be told this is to help me pretend I'm a somewhat successful writer. (I'm unpublished, unemployed, unhappy girl who can't even afford a laptop).  Perhaps that a bit too much but its freeing to overshare besides its annoynymous and I'm not ashamed of being poor. And yes Im one of those unfortunate souls who was born into poverty that were told if you work hard enough you just might get rich!!! Hasn't happen for me. Still a brokiee😞 I still dream though. I think that's poor people's hope . Dreams. If we don't dream what do we have to look forward to . Another year in a leaky house as termites knaw away at the board. Another year trying to achieve a fruitless and failing.  Another year that is just the same, minor changes , no huge differences. I have a dream though. To become an au...